Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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