are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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