I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
