can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She even gives head with a lisp.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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