If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
