This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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