These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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