HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
