Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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