Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
