the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize