why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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