And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize