i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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