I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
