sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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