I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
