She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
