Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
