ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
