Bisexual people are plain selfish.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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