one two three fourrrrnication!
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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