Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
