I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Sober January is a disaster.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
