Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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