Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
