You can't special order awesome
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
