Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
