Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
