ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
