We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You ruined the universe
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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