For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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