if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
