): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
