i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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