my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
