i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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