"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude i'm inner monologue high
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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