coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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