Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
