OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
