what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
