I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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