what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
