She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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