No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
