Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
