no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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