shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
