Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
