I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
