im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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