My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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