I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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