Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
