I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
