Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize