I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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