Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
