I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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