just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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