I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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