I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize