But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
