I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize