i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
