We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize