another moral hangover. fuck.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
