How'd it feel making her break her religion?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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