is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
