We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
