i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
