How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
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