That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
