YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
