Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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